INTERVIEWING RATS

….Squeaking Street Sleepers

I am writing to you in uttermost secrecy as a member of the Vermillion, I'm sure you are aware of the rules when dealing with fraternising with the enemy, however I am willing to put that aside momentarily as I have had a sufficient amount of carrot, and veggies to sustain my happy metre. I am rather surprised to find you send forth a young female to a house of male rats....was you intending to recreate....If so then why would you chose Ham to be the daddy?? Do you know him?? I have to find ways to get rid of him on a daily basis. Dont burdon me with more of his kind.

Anyway as it happens regardless of the results of this interview it is apparent SHE cannot stay here, and I am shipping her off to Timbucktoo Sewers post haste. Here is her interview:

WHAT DO WE CALL YOU?

-hiccups-

SO HICCUP IT IS THEN....YOU HAVE A RESPERORITY INFECTION, I RECOGNISE THE SYMPTOMS. IS IT BEING TREATED?

-hiccups-

I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT AS A RESPONSE.... IT UNNERVES ME. WOULD YOU LIKE SOME CARROT?

-takes carrot-

SOMETIMES I FIND EATING IN MY LITTER TRAY MAKES FOOD TASTE BETTER. HAVE YOU TRIED IT?
-sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, hiccup-

THIS IS VERY UNCUCCESSFUL, PERHAPS IF YOU UNCURL YOUR WHISKERS YOU MIGHT NOT TICKLE YOUR NOSE.

-blank stare, hiccup, squeak-

As you can see from the lack of conversation on her part I couldn't get information from her, later I observed her and while she seems every bit a Street Sleeper in the ways of adoring human affection and even giggling like a hyena when spoken to, it somewhat depresses me to say her departure will be tomorrow. Please do not send any more to us as I am going to send for rats from elsewhere, from neither Vermillion or Street Sleeper. Perhaps they will be as like minded as me.

Sleep time, my hammock is calling.